Dave's Blog

Let's move.....

2007-04-05T22:30:00.000-05:00

Hello? Is there anyone left who still reads this blog?

I have decided to start posting exclusively over on my other blog, David Higginbotham Photography, the blog. It will be easier for my throngs of fans to keep up with me with one blog. It's only fair. Oh and by throngs I mean my mom and the other couple of folks who still have me bookmarked.

I will keep this blog up of course...just for historical purposes...you know...in case my kids want to know what I was like before they broke my spirit and sense of humor.

Come see me at the other blog...

I mean I'm glad they hired him

2007-01-04T08:24:00.000-06:00

...but the scene at the Tuscaloosa airport yesterday was a bit embarrassing.

(Tuscaloosa News Staff photo | Michael E. Palmer)

She cheered, “Praise the Lord, God is so good, Nick is now in the Bama hood."

Sometimes I wonder why the rest of the country still makes fun of us here in Alabama...then I see something like this...and I remember why.

This should be nice

2007-01-03T10:30:00.000-06:00

Roll Tide!

You have got to love Joe Kines

2007-01-03T10:14:00.000-06:00

He is a class guy and I will miss having him on the Tide's sidelines.

This is just hilarious though...this is what a football coach should sound like at halftime.

Be there and be square

2006-12-29T13:00:00.000-06:00

I just got a friendly reminder from Ticketmaster on what events will be happening in my area soon...thank goodness I found out about this event before all the tickets were snatched up by "Whirlheads".

I'll see you there.

The results are in...

2006-12-06T13:47:00.000-06:00

I have been named 2006's Worst Blogger!

Actually that's not entirely true....okay...that's not at all true. But I have been slacking in my postings. But in an effort to distract from my problems...please check out Bart's Blog and notice how long it's been since HE'S posted something! Hiding my faults by pointing out the faults of others...it's genius.

I have several things working that I will post about very soon. Since I am sure that I have lost any readership that I once had...I will now be posting simply to have something to show my kids. This assuming that Blogger doesn't belly up and lose my poor future children's historical account of their father's life. No pressure guys.

Here is a sneak peek at a couple of things that you will hear about soon:

*My wedding ring...is it lost forever in the woods of Sugar Creek?
*My surprise project for Anna...am I wired in such a way that prohibits me from accomplishing home improvement projects...or am I simply a moron.
*This year's Christmas card photo...are Anna and I getting better looking or is it simply my imagination?
*Are you paying too much for your auto insurance?
*Have you been injured in an auto accident? Do you know someone who has?

Wedding Pictures!

2006-11-13T10:42:00.000-06:00

Yep....I am fully aware that it has almost been three months since my wedding. But I've been a tad busy.

Here is a slideshow that I put together with a large sampling of the images. Make sure you have your sound up...the show is timed with the music!

**CLICK HERE FOR THE SLIDESHOW***

I want to thank my dear friends and fellow photographers Gary Cosby Jr. and Emily Saunders for doing such a great job with the photo coverage of our wedding day! Kyle Root of Look Mom Videos provided the video coverage and did an awesome job as well!

Enjoy!

Thank you Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli

2006-10-26T14:20:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gentleman....The Honk.

Let me hear ya say OOOOOOOOOO!

Quote of the week!

2006-10-24T10:07:00.000-05:00

"I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream." - Weird Al' Yankovic

It all started in 1993....

2006-10-16T13:04:00.000-05:00

Back in 1993 the University of Alabama football team was awesome. So were tight rolled blue jeans and hypercolor t-shirts...I guess you can't escape change.

But during that incredible game against the University of Miami in which the Tide won 34-13...this happened.

Now granted...the play was called back due to a flag against the Tide (ok...some things don't change) but it was still one of the most awesome things I have ever seen. To this day in Bryant-Denny Stadium when that play is shown during the pre-game video...it draws wild cheers from everybody. Now the guy who George Teague embarrassed was Lamar Thomas. Apparently things have been downhill for this guy ever since he was owned by Teague. He has quite the rap sheet including several domestic abuse charges...not the least of which involved assaulting his pregnant girlfriend with a deadly weapon. Nice.

Where is Lamar Thomas now? As of this past weekend...he was working for Comcast caling the Florida International/University of Miami game. Take a listen to his comments.

What an idiot.

By the way...where is George Teague now? Well according to wikipedia...

"In 2002, he started the George Teague & Friends Foundation, a charity organization comprised of many former University Of Alabama football players.

George Teague now coaches high school football at Harvest Christian Academy in Watauga, Texas. He is also taking online classes at the United States Sports Academy to complete his bachelor's degree in sports coaching."

It looks like the Tide won that match-up too.

Quote of the week!

2006-10-16T09:49:00.000-05:00

This from Anna via her work e-mail last week.

"Some days I want to jump into a meat grinder...today would be one of those days. "

I gotta feed my kids

2006-10-07T10:41:00.000-05:00

Anna and I helped Bart move some last night. I figured that it's the least we could do.

But things quickly escalated from "moving" to "looting".

Don't judge me....I needed that cable box to feed my kids.

My eyes! My eyes!

2006-10-07T10:32:00.000-05:00

Go to Bart's blog, A.K.A. "Who Barted?", and check out this post.

This is what those lights look like turned on....they're like the sun...except ugly, fluorescent, and brighter.

The 10th anniversary of the 18th birthday!

2006-09-29T23:37:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my beautiful wife....and family...I had an awesome 28th birthday yesterday!

Go check out my David Higginbotham Photography Blog to see one of the cool gifts that Anna gave me!

This post tastes like chicken

2006-09-29T23:19:00.000-05:00

This could be the most blog posting to occur during one sitting in the history of "Dave's Blog". This is #3!

This post is meant as nothing more than a confession of my man love for one Colonel Sanders. Your chicken changed the world sir....it changed the world.

P.S.
Anna hates it when I ask her to take photos like this for me. Here's another example of a photo she was opposed to taking. I actually pulled over on the interstate to shoot this.

...and yes....this larger than life metal chicken appears to be wearing a beret. You can thank the great state of Tennessee for this fowl road art.

When blogs collide

2006-09-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

A just found this picture that Anna and I had made with Bart from "Who Barted?" This was down in Tuscaloosa before the Alabama/Hawaii game.

Bart and I are firm believers in the "thumbs up adds a positive spin to any picture" theory.

By the way....Bart has apparently fallen off the face of the planet...that or his computer is broken and/or my cell phone no longer receives incoming calls from people whose name starts with a 'B' and ends in an 'art'. Bart...you out there buddy?

Gun shots rang out like a bell

2006-09-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

Well times have become a bit tough here at the Higginbotham household. So after much thought and a lot of prayer....Anna and I have decided to turn to a life of crime. A Robin Hood type venture if you will....steal from the rich...and give to the poor (A.K.A....us) Anna wanted us to become gangstas but I told her that after .50 got shot...I gave up hustlin'.

Here are some photos of the happy family at the gun range working on our cap bustin' skills.

Anna almost looks too cute to be brandishing a piece....however...looks can be deceiving.

Ladies...the gun show is free.

Actually we were with our buddy Evan shooting his guns....being extremely safe of course.

I heart Dan

2006-09-22T15:38:00.000-05:00

We have a local meteorologist named Dan Satterfield. Quite frankly he's nuts.

But...he's the guy I want to be watching if there is severe weather...like right now. He uses meteorological lingo in a way that will bring a tear to your eye. For isntance...he has just spotted a mezocyclone. I'm not sure...but I would be willing to bet that a bow hook echo is nearby that mezocyclone. He works Doppler Armor like Bob Ross worked a canvas. A lot of people don't like watching him...they think he uses sensationalism to deliver the weather. Personally I appreciate the passion by which he presents his weathercast. Now...he may predict my death...as he did one full day before a particular outbreak of storms...but he's still #1 in my book.

I guess I'll go....I'm about to miss an explanation of what an updraft has to do with the velocity of this impending super cell.

CC Deville hates me

2006-09-15T08:22:00.000-05:00

We're on our honeymoon....having a great time....sitting in the hotel lobby waiting on a bus to take us to the cruise port. So in walks 1980's hair band guitarist C.C. Deville. Well on his second trip through the lobby I slide away from the crowded lobby and ask him if I could have my photo made with him. He walks past me without a word. Without ONE word...raised eyebrow...offer for heroin...nothing. Needless to say I was pretty miffed. Had it been 1985....I would have understood. But it's not 1985....it's 2006 and I was the only person in a lobby full of people who recognized him. He should have asked to have his picture with me...."Hey check it out...this guy in the hotel lobby knew who I was!....well yeah I got my picture made with him!"

By the way...my wife wears the same shade of lipstick.

Does that photo make anyone else crave some cotton candy?

August 19th, 2006

2006-08-29T13:21:00.000-05:00

Everyone help me remember that date.

Well the wedding could not have gone any better. There were a few SMALL things that went wrong...but overall we could not have been happier with the results!

My good friends and fellow photographers Gary Cosby Jr. and Emily Saunders documented that awesome day for us and here are a few of my early favorites.

The only time that I cried during the whole event was when I saw Anna at the back of the theatre just before she came down the aisle. I knew that Anna was going to be beautiful...but I was not prepared for just how beautiful. I absolutely LOVE this picture!

Here is an image of me on the phone while I was getting flowered up. I was either calling one of the vocalist....or a Greyhound...I can't remember.

Anna was able to go upstairs with all of the groomsmen and bridesmaids and relax during the hour before the wedding. I....on the other hand....was running crazy trying to tie up last minute loose ends. People kept asking me, "Anna is so calm...why aren't you calm?" I told them that it was because she didn't have anything left to do!

I included this picture of my niece Bree simply because it was so cute. She and her big sister Kate were flower girls for us.

There wound up being around 400 people in attendence. Who knew that we were that popular?...and by "we" I mean Anna.

We really should have kissed longer....you know...until people started to feel uncomfortable.

We closed off the street in front of the theatre for the reception....it was great!

The band I play in, "The Flashbacks", played for us under the marquee and there were tables set up all around the front of the theatre.

We hitched a ride in a friends old limousine....I have yet to find out what year it is...but it went with the theatre so well.

The whole thing...start to finish...took 3 hours. It seemed like 15 minutes.

I have tons of stories and photos from the honeymoon....some of which I will share on this blog in the weeks to come. Here's a preview....

* 20oz filet mignon
* 1980's band "Poison" guitarist C.C. Deville
* Uncomfortable room service attendants
* Uncomfortable room service recipients
* My gross overusage of the 'thumbs up' gesture

3 minutes of my 15 minutes of fame

2006-08-16T15:07:00.000-05:00

For those of you not familiar...there is a syndicated morning show that is broadcast out of Birmingham, Alabama called The Rick and Bubba Show. These guys have a bit of a national presence too due to appearances on various national news outlets. Anna and I have somewhat of a history with these guys.

I wound up on the air with them yesterday talking about the wedding. Here is a link to that audio.

Like I said....

2006-08-14T11:02:00.000-05:00

...I'm crazy busy. But I had to take 5 minutes to put up a new blog banner. I ran across this photo on a CD that Dad gave me with pictures of me for the wedding slideshow. I absolutely love it. If you aren't seeing the new blog header...hit refresh on your browser...that should fix it.

Wish me luck...it's the W.O.W. (Week Of Wedding).

I'm' so busy....

2006-08-08T08:44:00.000-05:00

...I'm letting other people blog for me. **Click here.

High quality memories

2006-08-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

Well today is August 1st. T-minus 19 days before the wedding. More importantly...the month that football begins. I'm kidding. Football really doesn't get rolling until the first of September.

Anna and I had to go and get our marriage license last week. I stopped to take a crappy quality camera phone image of us in the mirror on the second floor of the courthouse.

Because honestly...when documenting something as once in a lifetime as this...why take the photo with a good camera?

My name is Dave

2006-07-11T10:48:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite shows is "My Name is Earl".

So I decided to adopt one of Earl Hickey's ideas to use as I plan my next month. In case you don't know

...I am closing on the sale of my house....closing on a new house...packing....moving....and getting married all in the next 39 days.

As I typed that another chunk of my hair fell out. So I decided that I needed a list that I could keep in my pocket of all the things that I need to remember to do.

The mustache is optional.

As of right now I have 19 items on my list and 7 have been marked through. If I could only keep from adding new items I'd be okay.

After looking at the picture above I realized that one could perceive an obscene gesture being displayed...this was not intended....however I was too busy to go back and re-take the photo.

Bowl Season

2006-07-10T16:08:00.000-05:00

We went bowling with some friends this past weekend. Any and all skill that I once had at the lanes...was gone. I attribute this to the grotesquely large thumb on my right hand. That or they are drilling the holes smaller in the Large size bowling balls simply to spite me.

Something that has been great about having this new little Canon point and shoot camera is the video mode. But I'm having a really hard time remembering that video cannot be shot vertical. It's just the still photographer in me I guess. What's hilarious is that Anna never realizes that I'm shooting video so she goes into what I like to call "Pageant Girl Pose Mode"...note that towards the end of this video.

Don't tell Anna but instead of going on a cruise to the Bahamas for our honeymoon I'm taking her to the Professional Bowlers Championship in Akron, Ohio instead. I can't wait to see the look on her face!

My joint project with the Sugarhill Gang

2006-07-06T23:35:00.000-05:00

Here is a slideshow of some of my recent work...and it's quite funky at that.

***CLICK HERE

I will be posting more of these on my David Higginbotham Photography Blog as time goes on....

I'm thinking Arby's

2006-06-27T13:06:00.000-05:00

I challenge anyone to tell me that this isn't a cool hat.

Oh and there is a Mr. 1982 on the phone for you Mr. Higginbotham....he wants his sunglasses back.

My grillz

2006-06-27T11:29:00.000-05:00

Dear PETA,

Let me start off by saying that I feel like you guys are morons. I mean that with all due respect.

I am writing to make you aware that you have lost another battle in the war on carnivoracity. My lovely fiance, Anna, has recently found a wonderful deal on a gas grill and has purchased that for me. This is obviously bad news for your cause.

Good luck with whatever ridiculous stunt you have planned next.

Your friend,
Dave

So I'm a little behind

2006-06-27T11:21:00.000-05:00

So my 10 year class reunion was in May. I know...it's almost July. I've been a bit busy.

This picture makes me laugh because it proves that 10 years changes nothing about how mature you are.

These are a couple of my best friends from high school. Stacey and Matt. Stacey is pregnant so I am being "that guy" and touching her belly. By the way...you weirdos that seriously do that...you should stop. No really...it's creepy. As far as the look on Matt's face...we've been searching for an explanation for that for over 10 years now.

It had to be done

2006-06-21T08:32:00.000-05:00

My nephew Cole has been on me to come back to his house and play the Playstation game, MLB '06 with him.

Now Cole has a bad habit of crying if he loses at a video game. This is unacceptable as far as Uncle Dave is concerned. So...last night...a lesson was dealt. My Chicago White-Sox put 17 on his Boston Red Sox. 17-10 was the lesson given. Cole had been talking trash before the game started...and I of course...returned the smack. When the game was over the tears begin to flow.

Me: "Hey Cole you know what this is buddy?"
Cole: "*sniff* no" Me: "This is life man....this is life!"
Cole: " *snot* *sniff* *cry*"
Me: "You're not always going to win....you're not always going to get that job you wanted...your girlfriend is going to break-up with you...that's life!"

Just another lesson from your Uncle Dave.

If any of you need me to come to your house, play video games with your kids, and school them in the game of life...just let me know.

Wow...I need studio space

2006-06-19T00:32:00.000-05:00

Tonight I shot Anna's portrait to use for an engagement announcement. We shot within my spacious studio...and by that I mean my living room/kitchen.

I have gotten so much headshot mileage out of those roll-up blinds in the background!

So if any of you out there are trying to figure out what to get me as a wedding gift...I'd say about 1500 sq ft of studio space would be perfect!

New options

2006-05-23T13:49:00.000-05:00

Leave it to graphic artist and part-time comedian Bart to come up with more options for my bio picture.

....and my personal favorite....

I did get an actual option while Anna and I were having our engagement portraits made.

Anna feels that I look much less creepy in this one than the other one.

Speaking of engagement portraits....I want to thank my ex-coworker Gary Cosby Jr. for shooting some images of Anna and I in front of the theatre where we will be getting married.

Why didn't you people tell me I was this hot?

Quick Poll

2006-05-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

With all respect to Rick and Bubba and their quick poll...I have one of my own.

On my website I have a photo of myself in the "contact info" area. Now in theory this is the photo of myself that I am presenting to potential customers. This is the face I want them to see and think, "Wow this guy looks like somebody I would like to hire!" Now....in the spirit of laying it all out there...I did take this photo myself. I needed a new photo...and was home alone...I had no other choice. I was relatively pleased...not blown away mind you...but I was okay with it. Then Anna walked by and saw the picture for the first time. When she stopped laughing I asked her what was wrong with it. She claims that I look like a pedophile. As you can imagine...that isn't the look I was shooting for.

So I need your opinion....to all of my blog readers....both of you....please give me your thoughts on whether or not I should re-shoot this image.

Thanks in advance!

Check it....

2006-05-17T08:05:00.000-05:00

My buddy and current Auburn University Public Relations student Wes has posted a blog about my business blog. I guess his PR peers probably weren't ready for this blog.

You can read that post by clicking |here|

Thanks Wes!

Happy Birthday Tess!

2006-05-10T11:17:00.000-05:00

My youngest niece Tess had her first birthday yesterday.

A quick calculator visit shows that I'll be 44 when she graduates high school.

Ouch.

Here is a photo of the two of us from her party last night.

Happy birthday!

New Mac commercials

2006-05-08T10:15:00.000-05:00

I'm a Mac-head. Here is one reason why.

I got robbed by a little old lady in a motorized cart!

2006-05-02T17:58:00.000-05:00

We had already played 4 games of basketball last night and were on our last game. I got a rebound and rolled my ankle. I was convinced that I had broken it. There was a loud pop...and I could not move it.

If you are offended by nasty feet and/or disfigured joints...you may not want to scroll down.

Anna took me to the emergency room. Four and a half hours later...they wheeled me out. Now after four hours...I had become the loud patient and began wondering aloud about how long it took them to look at 4 x-rays...wrap my ankle...and send me home.

Anna had snapped and began stealing from the linen closet. Apparently my request for two pillows (3 hours ago) to prop my leg up on was considered a luxury and therefore ignored by the staff. I digress.

We went to the orthopedic doctor this morning. I did find out that the quickest way back to a room is to have your blood pressure drop sharply from not eating before taking pain pills. After I regained feeling in my hands and chest the doctor came in and read my x-rays. It turns out it's not broken. I just sprained the fool out of it.

We stopped by the grocery store on the way back to my house to get some food. It was there I experienced something new. I was "that guy" in the motorized shopping cart. Click on the middle of this picture and watch a little video of our afternoon.

By the way....I apologize for the nasty toes above...needless to say I wasn't expecting other people to be seeing them.

Correction

2006-04-25T00:02:00.001-05:00

First of all....I do realize that it has been quite a while since my last post. I do apologize. Not because of the lay off...but because the naked body of my youth has been at the top of my blog for so long. I apologize for any discomfort or loss of sleep I may have caused you.

At the end of last year I posted an entry entitled "*cough* *gasp* *cough*". In case you decided not to click on the link and read it...I was lamenting over the possibility that I was inhaling residual mustard gas while sitting at my desk at work. I even went so far as to ask my co-workers...and yes...even my boss to come in and smell the odor that I was certain to be ruining my future chances at fatherhood. It was about 2 weeks after writing that post that I discovered the true cause of the funk.

My old trusty Timberlands. Wow they stink. It only occurred to me after smelling the same "mustard gas" while taking my shoes off in the closet. So after all that....the blog post...the photoshopped effort of me wearing a gas mask...and all of the recognition...uh...both of the recognitions...alas....I have to apologize for incorrectly implicating 60-year-old chemical weapons.

Dave's Blog regrets the error.

:: Caution :: This post contains nudity ::

2006-04-05T23:27:00.000-05:00

I asked Dad to scan some old photos of me from when I was wee. Normally this would be the part of the blog where I would try to set the photo up by saying something clever...no need brother...no need.

I remember this day like it was yesterday. I had just gotten out of the tub...I hurried my naked little self across the hall to get some underwear out of one of my drawers...and Dad ambushed me. I still remember him laughing his head off. Laugh it up Dad....laugh it up. (*image edited for content)

This next one was a photo of me from the first and only time I've ever been drunk.

Ok...so I wasn't actually drunk...but it did look like a party! I spy two empty pfaltzgraff bowls...this is clearly a sign that there was a freezer of homemade ice cream somewhere nearby. I would also like to point out that the printing on my shirt says "Hamburger" over and over again. This shirt has always been a mystery to me.

There were a few things that owned me back in the day....the three wheeler was one of them. Let's be honest here...I'm completely precious.

The funny thing about the next picture is that I have run into this guy in the fraternity section at Bryant-Denny Stadium a million times. Who knew I would have the frat-tastic look happening so early? I'm going to press on with this and pretend like I did not have an enormous head.

Now....

...I'm pretty sure I thought I had it going on that night. I posted this picture just to prove to you that we all make mistakes....horrible...embarrassing...pre-teen mistakes.

Now I have saved the best for last......

...the end.

I gotta new one!

2006-04-05T16:16:00.000-05:00

I have created a new blog that will be more related to the business aspect of things. You can see it by clicking |here| or on the picture below.

"Dave's Blog" will still be very much active...I will still need some sort of outlet for all the stuff bouncing around in my head.

Thanks!

Dave

P.S.
Random American Idol thoughts:
Paula Abdul needs to check into a rehab clinic before she gives false hope to anyone else.
Simon is the only judge who tells the truth.
Bucky must go.

This may step on some toes

2006-03-29T12:40:00.000-06:00

If I'm standing in the mall with my cell phone held up to my ear...not actually on a phone call mind you...just holding it up there waiting on someone to call...you would think I was crazy right?

So how is it any less crazy to have one of these things strapped to your head when you aren't actually talking to anyone? This bugs me almost as much as people who wear their sunglasses inside without a medical excuse.

Take these ridiculous things off of your head unless you are on a phone call...the rest of us are laughing at you.

Uncle Elbert and Aunt Becky

2006-03-29T00:03:00.000-06:00

PORTLAND, Ore. - A couple wanted on drug charges after their rescue from the mountains of southwest Oregon was arrested Tuesday in Washington state, authorities said.

Elbert and Becky Higginbotham were stopped without incident near the coastal city of Long Beach, Wash., according to a Pacific County dispatcher.

The Higginbothams were in the same beige motor home where they spent 17 snowbound days earlier this month. Their March 21 rescue attracted national attention. But the joy of the rescue quickly turned sour when Arizona authorities recognized the Higginbothams as a couple that had been caught with methamphetamine and a shotgun, reneged on a promise to cooperate with investigators and disappeared.

Uncle Elbert promised he'd get off the stuff. Maybe if he hadn't been so amped up on meth he could have found his way out of the snow storm. How many people...right now...have an Uncle Elbert whose cooking meth in his beige motor home? I'd guess a ton.

Ok..so maybe they aren't really my aunt and uncle. But as far as Higginbotham marketing goes...they're killing us.

Burrrrrrrr

2006-03-27T10:09:00.000-06:00

Now I'm not saying that the heat being out at my house is bad...but I just heard a well digger tell somebody that "it was colder than Dave's house".

This is what greeted me yesterday morning...

Havoc = wolf ?

2006-03-27T09:41:00.000-06:00

So Anna and I went to watch the semi-pro hockey team in Huntsville play in a playoff game on Saturday night. The Havoc lost after three overtimes...wow...long game.

During one of the many 18 minute intermission periods I shot 10 images and later stitched them into a panoramic of the arena. Please note that the pretty floating thing on the left is Anna's head. Click on it for a larger view.

We also chased down the Havoc mascot, "Chaos" and had our picture made with him. This did make me realize something...I have enough photos of myself smiling to last me the rest of my life. From here on out all of the pictures that I have made with celebrities and mascots will come with a free gimmick. It could be a "thumbs-up" or a subject sensitive gesture...as seen here.

As you can imagine...this decision thrills Anna.

...and now he'll sing while I drink a glass of water

2006-03-17T09:34:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty sure this Kevin Covais kid from American Idol is a ventriloquist dummy.

Let the media blitz begin

2006-03-16T07:43:00.000-06:00

Well Anna and I have began our 2006 media tour to promote our upcoming nuptials. Please contact our people for all interview requests.

You can read the whole story on The Decatur Daily's website by clicking here.

By the way...it is true...nothing says romance like a pepperoni pizza.

I'm neither Popular nor Scientific

2006-03-16T07:41:00.000-06:00

Well I need to thank J-Mo for giving me a call over the weekend to let me know that I had an image published in Popular Science. A double-truck at that!

I actually had a similar image published in the June edition of the Dutch magazine "De Ingenieur" last year. This adds further proof to my theory that I am huge in the Netherlands.

From the archives

2006-03-15T15:07:00.000-06:00

I just ran across this e-mail that I sent to Anna a few months ago. I had sent Anna a map of the area around the hotel and the port where we'll be leaving for our honeymoon cruise. She pointed out that there is a road nearby named "Mullet Road". This was my response.

"Why do you think we are staying there? It’s already on my agenda to stop and take our photo with the “Mullet Road” sign. Of course we’ll have to deal with the traffic from all the Mulletheads who will be making their yearly pilgrimage to Mullet Road for the Feast of Josiah Mullet (pronounced Moo-lay). Josiah is credited with creating the mullet back in the 2nd century in present day Iran. Josiah came up with the hairstyle to shade his neck from the sun while working as an Iranian club promoter. Some followers claim that Josiah Mullet also pioneered chain smoking and penny beer."

I may have some of my facts wrong...but I think this is historically correct.

Some things just aren't natural

2006-03-14T22:25:00.000-06:00

Anna rolled down her jeep window and held up a small package for me to see. I could not tell what it was so I asked her...."It's placenta!" she yells. Now...I'm 27-years-old...and I have never had anyone say "It's placenta" to me...ever.

It seems that Wal-mart sells this stuff as a treatment for hair. It claims to be "Nature's most complete conditioning treatment". I would like to disagree...this is actually nature's most complete method by which a developing fetus is nourished.

This goes on my list of things whose discovery is a complete mystery. Suppositories for instance...who made the decision that this medicine would work better if used at the back door. "This pill isn't doing me any good Charlene...I might as well be sticking it...."

...and the rest is history.

amen

2006-03-06T09:12:00.000-06:00

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail

2006-03-03T10:25:00.000-06:00

I guess it is a long standing fact that a lot of brilliant artist are never widely recognized. Some never achieve fame until they die. It's sad...but true. But I'm going to at least turn on the 3 or 4 of you who read this blog to someone whose music you should have in your CD player right now. Paul Thorn is a singer/songwriter from Tupelo, MS. You can read his bio here.

Thorn is a good singer...a good guitar player...but an incredible songwriter and storyteller. Some of his songs have made me laugh hysterically...and others have actually brought me to tears....big masculine man tears.

This isn't folksy, pot smoking music. It's hard driving rock beats, funky soul, and beautiful ballads delivered as if coming from a road side tent revival.

We went to see him last night in Huntsville. In my mind the place was going to be packed...but it reality...not so much. I just hope that someday he will get the national acclaim that he deserves. Check him out...you'll love it.

By the way...I will ruin a picture with a double-chin display.

Clucking on death's door

2006-02-22T08:23:00.000-06:00

So Anna and I are driving back into Decatur a couple of days ago and I notice a chicken standing perfectly still in the median of the highway. So Anna insists that I turn around so we can see if that was truly what I had seen. Well after seeing that this was indeed a chicken Anna then insisted that I call the police. Now I knew that the police had no desire to run a call to look after this chicken...I knew that the chicken wasn't causing a road hazard beyond my car sitting still in the turn lane...but I had to call. Not because I'm whipped mind you...but mainly because of this....

My normally fashion conscience wife-to-be was standing in the middle of Hwy 31 in wind pants, socks, and high heels trying to keep this chicken from a certain smashing. Now because I didn't have the phone number for the fashion police...I called Decatur PD. Now I'm a compassionate person. I love animals. But this chicken had clearly fallen off of a truck destined for the chicken plant. It was injured and was clucking on death's door. But I made the call anyway.

Dispatcher: "Central Dispatch"
Me: "Uh yeah...I kind of have a weird thing here.."
Dispatcher: "Okay"
Me: "I'm at the corner of 6th and Wilson and there is a chicken in the middle of the road...my girlfriend made me call..."
Dispatcher: "----"
Me: {Hysterical laughter breaks out on my end of the phone} "She's standing in the middle of 6th Avenue in windpants and high heels...I'm sorry...this is just too funny"
Dispatcher: "Listen I understand her...I would be doing the same thing. I have an officer on the way"

So the officer shows up...we laugh a little...and he picks it up and takes it over to a flower bed in the parking lot of a convenience store nearby.

The next night Anna decides that she is going to go by and check on the bird. This is where the irony gets thick. I'm eating a chicken sandwich...serious business...an Arby's chicken/bacon/swiss sandwich. She stops at a grocery store to buy the chicken some corn and water. Well she gets back in the jeep and the first thing she says is "Oh I want a bite of that". ? I'm sorry...you are going to great effort to prolong the existence of this chicken...yet you are jonesing for a bite of my CHICKEN sandwich? Oh the irony.

The last time I looked the little original recipe was still hanging out in his Shell station flower bed.

Best of luck to you little buddy...I'm sure we'll meet again...maybe over lunch?

Thanks Mickey!

2006-02-17T10:53:00.000-06:00

I just got back from a work trip at a Disney World Resort. Yeah I know...not a bad way to work. But there is only so much of the Happiest Place on Earth that one man can handle.

Now maybe I grew up sheltered...but I have never had the opportunity to enjoy a theme park turkey leg. Well I made sure I changed that while inside of Disney MGM-Studios.

I haven't had a meal make me feel this manly since that time I accidently ate a roofing shingle.

Happy birthday!

2006-02-15T10:52:00.000-06:00

Today "Dave's Blog" turns one. Just like any one-year-old on his birthday...I have already eaten my cake with my hands, cried, and gone to sleep.

So here's to Dave's Blog! May the next year see it become more of a contribution to society and less of an embarrassment to my family.

Happy Valentine's Day.....

2006-02-14T23:41:00.000-06:00

.....from me and some fat guy dressed as cupid. I'll explain later.

More things than linens

2006-02-14T23:29:00.000-06:00

You will have to look closely at this picture to see it...but Anna is registering at Linens and Things.

You will have to look closely at this picture to see it...but I am registering at Linens and Things.

I'm a fashion imbecile.

2006-02-09T08:01:00.000-06:00

Last night Anna called me a fashion imbecile. I had to applaud her on her defaming creativity.

So my car is pretty dirty

2006-02-07T07:40:00.001-06:00

Now I know that the back seat of my car has gotten a little cluttered lately. It's been on my list of things to do for several weeks now. But last night at the Jack's drive-thru I was given the last piece of motivation to go ahead and get it clean. The following conversation is real...

Jack's lady: Hi, how are you?
Me: I'm good how are you?
Jack's lady: Are you on your way back to college?
Me: (silently lower my head to laugh)
Jack's lady: Oh I'm sorry...are you moving or something?
Me: No maam...I'm just junky...thanks.

Dogs up, Cats down.

2006-02-02T15:15:00.000-06:00

Here are a few reasons that I have come up with as to why dogs are superior to cats. Not being David Letterman...I will refrain from making this a top ten list.

1. I've never seen a blind person with a seeing eye cat.
2. When there is a bomb threat they never enter the building with a bomb sniffing cat.
3. How many handicapped kids do you know with an assist cat?
4. When someone escapes from prison they never hunt them down with a tabby.
5. If someone is smuggling weed in from Mexico...a cat could never find it in the luggage.
6. I have never seen a cat fetch...ever.
7. If you live in the ghetto and want to keep intruders away...you don't buy a cat.
8. If you go hunting and shoot a duck...a cat might rub up against your leg...but it won't retrieve the duck.
9. If you hooked a half dozen cats up to a sled and sent them off to Alaska you would die of starvation and/or hypothermia.

I rest my case. Woof.

A new campaign

2006-02-01T15:15:00.000-06:00

Today as I sat in the mall food court eating my lunch I was reminded of something I've always known. People have no idea what they look like when they leave the house in the morning. Now don't get me wrong...my eyes barely match...let alone my shirt and pants. But I've always thought that a great way to eradicate things such as halter tops on the elderly....wife beater tank tops on those of a hairy persuasion...and many more non-eye-pleasing looks would be to start a campaign to hand out mirrors for free. Please join me in my battle against this epidemic. Join the Mirrors Across America campaign and help us all reflect on what we wear out in public. Thank you.

It's getting worse

2006-01-30T09:50:00.000-06:00

My neck is getting more red with every passing day.

By the way...the mullet to non-mullet ratio was huge.

...and yes....I took Anna to this event as a part of "date night". Take it easy ladies...I'm spoken for.

TiVo thinks I'm black

2006-01-24T08:36:00.000-06:00

For those of you who aren't familiar with TiVo...it will pick shows that it thinks that you will like...based on your previous selections...and record them for you. Basically TiVo says, "I bet Dave will like this...I'll record it for him". Here are a few of the regulars from that list:

"The Parkers"

"The Cosby Show"

"That's So Raven"

Now I've always considered myself to be the 7th Huxtable so "The Cosby Show" is not a problem...but come on..."That's So Raven"? Isn't that a kids show?

***************UPDATE*********************

Let's add two more to the mix...The Jaime Foxx Show and The Steve Harvey Show...those were two new ones that hit me up on my "Now Playing" yesterday.

Gonna be wipin' your weepin eyes

2006-01-20T07:42:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the soul music world lost one of it's souls. Wilson Pickett died of a heart attack yesterday in Virginia at the age of 64.

Photo from FAME Studios

Pickett came into this world in Prattville, Alabama in 1941. But he was truly born into the world of soul in 1966 when he came to FAME studios in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. From within the walls of FAME Pickett recorded "634-5789", "Mustang Sally", and "Land of 1000 Dances" among others.

Go to http://www.fame2.com/ to learn more about Wilson Pickett and all the other legendary performers associated with FAME.

Hungry Hungry Hippo

2006-01-13T14:15:00.000-06:00

I think that there is more humor in offering up this image with no explanation rather than to try and add a clever caption.

I will say this though...hippos are far more aggressive than we are all led to believe.

How true

2006-01-12T07:36:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine sent me this...he must have known how hard it was for them to cubicle me.

Tux capacitor

2006-01-10T09:07:00.000-06:00

Well I have selected the tuxedo that I will be wearing for the I do.

I bet it will look even better when it has a head.

I'll either look like a million bucks...or somebody's butler.

An almost disaster

2006-01-10T08:56:00.000-06:00

Last week I traveled to a facility in New Orleans for work. I walked into a bathroom at this facility and came extremely close to "going" here:

Those of you with a sharp eye probably notice that this is a handwashing sink...not a urinal. That my friends could have been disastrous.

Happy 2K6!

2006-01-02T00:19:00.000-06:00

Well Happy New Year ya'll.

By the way...if I ever wind up in a clock tower with a semi automatic rifle...there's a good chance that the sound of these little noisemakers simply pushed me over the edge.

This is a photo that I took of myself with a stuffed squirrel that I found in the basement of one of our New Years Eve stops. Now I'm no thief...but I seriously considered making this a New Years Eve souvenir.

Mixer love

2006-01-02T00:12:00.000-06:00

Anna's birthday was last week...one of my gifts to her was a Kitchen Aid mixer...I think she liked it.

If you wondering what that look on my face is all about...that would be me sharing in her joy.

Serious business...she really did hug that mixer box.

Happy birthday dear.

My Greatest Hits Album

2005-12-29T11:00:00.000-06:00

These are (in my opinion) the most memorable quotes from my blog over the past year plus a link to their original post. Happy New Year everybody!

If you don't buy me flowers you are the inconsiderate, selfish, lazy, waste of space my mother says you are.
*
I mean...if you went through the emotional and physical drama of being shot at...wouldn't you hate to have that badge of courage imitated by anyone with a knowledge of their nearest novelty shop?
*
This kind of reminds me of those old twilight zone episodes where a kid would find out that his mom was really a robot.
*
For those two minutes I was back in 1990. Eleven years old...tight rolled jeans...lovin' me some Hammer.
*
Women have Lifetime Original Movies and men have music. It's that simple.
*
I didn't feel comfortable sleeping in the spider infested bed....but I knew if I had to open a long neck...they had my back.
*
Oh and by the way....how many fair skinned,red headed guys named "Horatio" do you know?
*
It's called "The Dirty Thirty"
*
All I have to do is come up with an engine that will run off of dog hair. I would call it the Labradorian.
*
I feel like any tear shed over a sporting event is a tear filled with testosterone.
*
You had me at hello...now shut-up already.
*
"Hey there's a penny in the urinal! I guess I'll leave it there."
*
11. Top ten lists are stupid.
*
"A father's nipple is just a fleshy substitute."
*
"Why don't you pass him from your loins and then we will talk."
*
So far the only thing even remotely resembling emotion that this bird has shown was when he pooped on my flip-flop.
*
"A midget has broken into my house...not again!"

cough gasp cough

2005-12-28T15:15:00.000-06:00

I don't mean to alarm anyone...but I think I've been breathing mustard gas for the better part of the day.

The building I work in is on a military installation...on the site of an old mustard gas production facility...or so I'm told. I think my cubicle is seeping that stuff.

***Update 12/29/05***

When I told Anna about this...as you can imagine...I got a blog-worthy answer.

Anna: "I would buy one of those mustard gas detectors."
Me: {blank stare}
Anna: "The Soviets produced them."

If you see Anna today...wish her a happy birthday. Perhaps a nice card...phone call....or Soviet produced mustard gas detector would be in order.

Nocturnal grocery list creation

2005-12-27T09:34:00.001-06:00

Today's random text message was sent to me from my friend Marianne. I got a message from her this morning...completely out of the blue that said this:

butter

When questioned about this she said that she woke up with her cell phone in her hand and that she had no idea that she had sent that message until she checked her outbox.

Crazy.

I can die happy

2005-12-23T07:59:00.000-06:00

Some folks threw Anna and I an engagement party recently and people were told to bring us Christmas related gifts. Decorations, ornaments, etc... By the way...none of my boys showed up for this party. It was kind of like going to a stadium to play an away game and not having any of your fans show up. But I digress. I told Anna that the only gift I was interested in getting was a dancing Santa Clause. She laughed...I didn't. I kept telling her how disappointed I was going to be if that party came and went and there wasn't a mechanical Kris Kringle in my living room. Well the party came and went...no rug cuttin' Santa to be found. But being the loving fiancé (by the way..not a word either one of us are comfortable with) Anna surprised me with the one gift that has made my holiday season complete.

Here I am dancing the night away with his jollyness himself. Now granted...I wasn't prepared for the fear that Santa would strike in me each morning. You know my brain apparently forgets about dancing Santa each night when I go to sleep. So when I go to turn on the stereo first thing in the morning I am scared to death by the silhouetted figure of a shorter than usual Santa Clause. My brain says, "A midget has broken into my house...not again!"

Merry Christmas everybody!

O fill my cup

2005-12-19T08:50:00.000-06:00

Lately I am on fire for Hardee's steak biscuits. I noticed that Hardee's (or Carl's Jr. to some of you) have recently redesigned their cups. On these new spiffy cups they have included quotes from different news organizations that praise Hardee's. For example:

Well imagine my surprise when I looked at my cup from this morning. I can't believe it!

Hello Michael.

2005-12-16T10:08:00.000-06:00

iTunes has began offering television shows on their music store. Desperate Housewives, Lost, and many other current shows. I look today and they are now offering vintage NBC shows. Now I don't want to get any of you too excited...but it appears that they are offering the entire first season of Knight Rider. David Hasselhoff's chest hair was in it's infancy...his Caucasian fro was just finding it's groove...and he drove the coolest car ever.

The promo for the shows on iTunes listed David Hasselhoff as an "International Superstar". And it's not just the Germans who love him....I mean look at him....leather jacket...snakeskin belt....ill advised thumbs up. Friends that is classic television. I'm going to need a moment.

Those crazy French

2005-12-15T10:12:00.000-06:00

I heard this on Rick and Bubba this morning....ew.
---
Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach—and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

“I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams,” the rattled bachelor later admitted. “And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she’d said she would.

“But when I got close, she turned around—and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn’t know what to say. All I could think was, ‘Oh my God! it’s Mama!’ “

But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.

“Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop,” recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. “The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it—and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o’clock news. “People started pointing and laughing at us on the street—and they haven’t stopped laughing since.”

The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole—who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb—while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.

“Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was,”

said flabbergasted Daniel.

“The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.
-----

Better luck next time Prince of Pleasure.

If you guys need me I'll be taking 9 showers in a row.

My future face

2005-12-14T13:08:00.000-06:00

While visiting another blog I came across a link to this site (www.myheritage.com) that will allow you to upload a photo of yourself and it then matches it to the the celebrity you most resemble.

This is Edward Said. He was a well-known Palestinian-born American literary theorist, critic and outspoken Palestinian activist. Or "what I may look like in 40 years" as I like to refer to him.

Anna told me once that I looked like Ben Affleck...................wait for it.........................in dim light. How flattering.

Death to the soliloquy!!

2005-12-12T14:34:00.000-06:00

Don't get me wrong...I'll tap my foot and sing along with some country songs. I've even played a few during my acoustic shows. But we have got to do something about some of these songs. I was eating lunch today and the restaurant was playing Kenny Chesney's "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy". I sent Anna a text message to get her take on this song. Here was her response...

"What exactly is 'sexy' about a tractor? The tractor driver may be sexy, but who actually lusts over a hunk of metal?"

Hey Nashville...Dave here...Listen I'm not sure how you guys feel about disturbing the dead but that sound you just heard was Hank Williams Sr. rolling over in his grave.

While I'm on country music...allow me to announce what is quite possibly my biggest pet peeve. Artist who speak lyrics during their songs. Just imagine nails on a chalkboard...multiplied by 50. This is what it does to me. I'll give the following hall passes to these songs/artist due to their seniority and legendary status:

George "The Possum" Jones - He Stopped Loving Her Today
Conway "The Fro" Twitty - Hello Darlin'

Feel free to suggest any other songs/artist that I should give a pass to.

I mock your smock

2005-12-09T15:11:00.000-06:00

Hello...my name is David...and I'm a smock mocker.

You know if they called it a vest...it wouldn't be funny at all.

I'd like to thank Evan for sponsoring this post with the use of his Wal-mart smock.

Overheard ignorance

2005-12-07T13:14:00.000-06:00

The following is a good reason not to do business with someone.
---
Woman: "I would love to do business with you...what's your e-mail address and I'll send you my information."

That Guy: "Sure...it's johndoe, A with a circle, mybusiness.com."

Woman: "Mmkay thanks"
---
The @ sign is relatively new I guess.

Say it ain't O Dave...say it ain't O.

2005-12-02T07:39:00.000-06:00

You either relent to her awesome power or you are destroyed. The O is simply too strong.

.

I don't wanna grow up

2005-12-01T08:49:00.000-06:00

I wrote a post a few days ago called "Forever Young". When I wrote that I was mostly kidding around. Today I have a different take on that thought. Please forgive me as I get a little more heavy than usual.

When we are kids we live in a complete state of ignorant bliss. Our worries never extend beyond the next distraction. Looking back on that...it was awesome. I once heard someone say that when a child cries over something...whether it be a broken toy...because they didn't get their way...or whatever...that it is just as traumatic and upsetting to them as it is to an adult who is upset over something "mature". But regardless of that fact...the disappointment and the heartache subside far quicker in the heart of a child than in an adult.

I was talking to a close friend last night who called with some bad news regarding some other friends of ours. I made the comment to him that being an adult is simply no fun. Back in the day...we rarely worried about anything as tragic as death or as heartbreaking as infidelity. We shook off any oncoming grief by simply going outside to play or sitting down in front of a video game. We rarely had to come up with words to comfort our best friends during a time of heart wrenching grief or disappointment.

Couples stayed true to each other and stayed together. Babies were born healthy and grew up strong. There was always plenty of money and bills always got paid on time. There was no stress and zero worry. It was a perfect world...and then you grow up.

I Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

As the World Turns

2005-11-29T09:56:00.000-06:00

The local radio traffic guy made this profound comment this morning...

"If you're heading eastbound this morning the sun is going to be in your eyes..."

He helps calm my daily fears that while I was sleeping the earth's rotation suddenly reversed itself.

Moron.

Forever young!

2005-11-28T08:56:00.000-06:00

I'm enjoying my first cold of the winter season. So I thought I would attempt to soothe my throat by pouring myself a cup of coffee. The only other significant coffee intake I have ever experienced was while covering the 1998 Music City Bowl or as I like to refer to it...the Hypothermia Bowl. With a wind chill of 14 degrees I was willing to drink anything that might save my extremities. Wow I digress. Anyway I have always claimed that I can still cling to my youth if I abstain from enjoying coffee. In my mind adults enjoy coffee. Your Paw-Paw enjoys coffee. The boss enjoys coffee. Youthful, vibrant people don't enjoy coffee...at least in my mind. Well after having about 4 sips of my cup-o-joe I realized that I am still a yute (see "My Cousin Vinny") How do you people drink this stuff? My apologies to Juan Valdez.

By the way...I also learned that although coffee won't cure halitosis...it certainly will advance it.

Life Lesson #1120

2005-11-20T14:55:00.000-06:00

Sometimes things don't go the way you want them to.

For instance...a self portrait of everybody for the Christmas cards. That's right...I'm a professional.

It's Iron Bowl Week

2005-11-15T16:05:00.000-06:00

For those of you not familiar with the Alabama/Auburn rivalry...this picture pretty much sums it up.

Roll Tide!

***Disclaimer***
I will not be answering any questions regarding Alabama's recent loss to LSU. I've prayed about it...and now I'm fine.

Not quite PETA

2005-11-10T15:07:00.000-06:00

So I'm talking to Anna on the phone today...here's how it went....

Anna: "Hello little chickens...thank you for your sacrifice."
Me: "Are you talking to a chicken truck?"
Anna: "Aww...they're looking right at me."
Me: "Thank you for your sacrifice?"
Anna: "Yeah...they sacrifice their lives so I can eat."

Well maybe the PETA activist wackos will take comfort in the fact that at least some meat eaters appreciate the selflessness shown by the animals who make their buffets and cookouts possible.

Nothing tastes worse than a selfish chicken.

My new pet

2005-11-09T13:03:00.000-06:00

This just in from MSNBC.com's gossip columnist.

By Jeannette Walls

MSNBC

...A Partridge is coming to the defense of turkeys. With Thanksgiving around the corner, Shirley Jones, perhaps best known as the mom of TV’s “Partridge Family,” is speaking out on behalf of the fowls. “I have a special fondness for birds — and not just partridges, by the way — and all birds feel pain and fear,” notes Jones in a new video for PETA. “Turkeys — gentle animals who are every bit as interesting and worthy of our concern as dogs and cats — are treated especially badly.” Jones recommends trying a Tofurky or Unturkey vegetarian roast instead of a real bird.

Now I'm not a big fan of saying "never"...but...I would venture to say that you will never find me getting ready to carve the Thanksgiving Day Tofurky.

But what Shirley Partridge said about birds being worthy of as much attention as dogs and cats really hit home. I mean...she's right. So today I went out and bought myself a new pet.

In this picture you see that I'm teaching him to fetch the ball. I like to call it fowl ball....yeah I know that's lame but you should have seen the look he gave me when I suggested we call it butterball!

Anyway...I have yet to pick up on any of this "pain and fear" emotion that Shirley spoke of. So far the only thing even remotely resembling emotion that this bird has shown was when he pooped on my flip flop.

Thanks for nothing Shirley Jones.

Roll Tide

2005-11-01T13:42:00.000-06:00

Was I wrong in getting a Tennessee fan to take our photo in the Tennessee section of Bryant Denny Stadium after Alabama defeated the Volunteers 6-3? It's a small favor to ask considering I had to listen to the band play "Rocky Top" 273 times.

On an unrelated note I'd like to point out that I am wearing what is quite possibly the most hillbilly article of clothing short of a pair of overalls...the plain white thermal shirt. YeeHaw.

Awards Time!

2005-10-31T13:17:00.000-06:00

Today I would like to present R. Bank with the "I'm Pretty Sure That Goes Without Saying" Award. This Halloween Day award is being presented to this establishment in recognition of this sign that is posted on their front door.

This sign was chosen because "Please don't rob us" was thought to be offensive to those bank patrons who weren't actually planning on committing a felony.

This establishment is also being recognized for their speed of service. The Cecil Tortoise Award of Excellence* is also being presented in honor of their efforts to have a line out the door at all times. A bank official was overheard crediting Wal-mart for giving them the idea of having three times the amount of teller windows as actual tellers to work them.

Please join me in congratulating R. Bank.

Sponsored by:
The Department of Motor Vehicles
The North American Snail Foundation
The Three Toed Sloth Society
and Christmas

Advice from the guru

2005-10-25T10:31:00.000-05:00

A buddy of mine Eric...who I like to think of as my personal relationship advice guru...gave me this piece of advice regarding the wedding.

He said, "Just remember that the wedding is about two people....her and her mother."

What time does the courthouse open?

2005-10-24T08:57:00.000-05:00

Well after almost five years together...minus the obligatory 6 month break-up...Anna and I got engaged late last week. I had a former co-worker of mine set up a bogus photo session in the warehouse of the newspaper where I worked when Anna and I first met. I then showed a video of images from the night we met. Anna was a senior in high school when I was assigned to go to her house and make her portrait for a story involving her. Almost exactly a year later we struck up a conversation on AOL Instant Messenger and five years later she's picking out china.

Folks immediately begin asking us, "When's the big date?" I ask them what time the courthouse opens on Monday morning....and they always laughed. What's so funny?

If you guys need me I'll be reciting "That's fine dear" and "Whatever you want is okay with me" until it sounds believable.

Here come the locust

2005-10-18T14:50:00.000-05:00

I found this picture of me from the Iron Bowl (Alabama vs Auburn game) 2000. We were working out of this room below Bryant Denny Stadium when I spotted this guy. A nine foot wood carving of Paul "Bear" Bryant. At the time I remember thinking how hard someone had worked on that carving only to have it buried in a small media room out of sight. Probably not the recognition they were hoping for.

You know...God sent a plague after some folks in Exodus 32 for worshipping a golden cow. I wonder if some hard core Crimson Tide fans got their hands on this statue if they would wake up one day with locust, boils, and funny tasting water?

Look-A-Like

2005-10-15T19:59:00.000-05:00

Friday was my niece Bree's 2nd birthday...her first since she has been in the U.S. We had her party today at a Mexican restaurant...mainly because it was a "Dora The Explorer" party...she thinks she is Dora. Just to make sure you are with me here...she is Chinese....and she thinks she is Hispanic cartoon character...Dora. I can't get enough of that. Take a look at this picture...doesn't she look just like that little Dora doll she is holding?

My brother (her dad) also pointed out that with her little headband down over her forehead that she looked like Janie Fricke. Janie Fricke? Are you kidding me? I had forgotten all about 1970s-80s country music sensation Janie Fricke! Here's the side-by-side comparison...just in case you have forgotten about Janie Fricke.

Here is a link to all of the pictures from Saturday...in case you're interested. http://www.printroom.com/ViewGallery.asp?
userid=davejh23&gallery_id=273736

By the way...Bree doesn't like me yet. I'll keep you updated in case that changes.

WARNING

2005-10-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

DO TO THE GRAPHIC NATURE OF THIS PHOTO VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

No babies were harmed in the taking of this picture. However the child's father...who happens to be a HUGE Auburn fan...was indeed harmed...emotionally harmed anyway.

Being that I am a photographer it would be fair to assume that I took this photo. But I would like to clear my name and make it clear that I was not responsible for this.

I never said that I didn't approve of it...just that I wasn't responsible.

ADDITIONAL WARNING: Do not look at my "thumbs up" if you are grossed out by unintentional displays of double-jointedness.

Die Devil Bug!

2005-10-11T14:41:00.000-05:00

I have never been one to wish death on anyone...until this summer. I can't wait until every mosquito in North Alabama freezes to death this winter. I haven't been to the Red Cross to give this summer but I have been a blood donor.

A Photo Quote

2005-10-07T07:53:00.000-05:00

I read this quote from former AP combat photographer John Gaps III...

"The greatest thing about being a photographer is that a photographer is able to rescue a moment from eternity. Life - serenity - chaos - whatever - continues until the photographer plucks out one scene and makes it everlasting."

I miss newspaper work.

Take a number ladies

2005-10-05T13:46:00.000-05:00

In that same batch of old pictures I ran across this...

To answer your question...yes...that is a magnetic belt that I'm wearing.

My first 100 grand

2005-10-05T11:32:00.000-05:00

I was looking through some old image CDs and I ran across the night in December 2001 that I celebrated my 1999 Saturn surpassing the 100,000 mile mark. Yep...100 grand in around two years. Anna and I were heading back to her house when I realized that I only needed twenty more miles to hit 100K. So we did what anyone would have done...we drove around and took pictures until it hit the mark. The funniest part about these pictures is the fact that the "Service Engine Soon" light was on when I took a photo of the odometer.

I was doing my best impression of the old Toyota commercials. Thinking back...I believe I would have been better off driving a Toyota.

Dave's Blog

Let's move.....

I mean I'm glad they hired him

This should be nice

You have got to love Joe Kines

Be there and be square

The results are in...

Wedding Pictures!

Thank you Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli

Quote of the week!

It all started in 1993....

Quote of the week!

I gotta feed my kids

My eyes! My eyes!

The 10th anniversary of the 18th birthday!

This post tastes like chicken

When blogs collide

Gun shots rang out like a bell

I heart Dan

CC Deville hates me

August 19th, 2006

3 minutes of my 15 minutes of fame

Like I said....

I'm' so busy....

High quality memories

My name is Dave

Bowl Season

My joint project with the Sugarhill Gang

I'm thinking Arby's

My grillz

So I'm a little behind

It had to be done

Wow...I need studio space

New options

Quick Poll

Check it....

Happy Birthday Tess!

New Mac commercials

I got robbed by a little old lady in a motorized cart!

**Correction**

:: Caution :: This post contains nudity ::

I gotta new one!

This may step on some toes

Uncle Elbert and Aunt Becky

Burrrrrrrr

Havoc = wolf ?

...and now he'll sing while I drink a glass of water

Let the media blitz begin

I'm neither Popular nor Scientific

From the archives

Some things just aren't natural

amen

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail

Clucking on death's door

Thanks Mickey!

Happy birthday!

Happy Valentine's Day.....

More things than linens

I'm a fashion imbecile.

So my car is pretty dirty

Dogs up, Cats down.

A new campaign

It's getting worse

TiVo thinks I'm black

Gonna be wipin' your weepin eyes

Hungry Hungry Hippo

How true

Tux capacitor

An almost disaster

Happy 2K6!

Mixer love

My Greatest Hits Album

*cough* *gasp* *cough*

Nocturnal grocery list creation

I can die happy

O fill my cup

Hello Michael.

Those crazy French

My future face

Death to the soliloquy!!

Correction

cough gasp cough