A memo to car dealers

Memo:

To: All automobile dealers
From: Dave

The following things will not make me want to purchase a car from you. In fact they make me want to take my business elsewhere.

1. Suspending a car from a platform via a crane.
2. Placing a car on a rotating platform.
3. Yelling at me about your prices on the radio.
4. Yelling at me about your prices on the television.
5. Dressing someone up as "your goofy old uncle Marcus" for your hour long infomercial on cable access.
6. Telling me how crazy you are for how low your prices are.
7. Acting like the boss is out-of-town and you are now "slashing" prices.
8. Saying that you are "slashing" prices.
9. Telling me that you are selling me a car for what you paid for it. You and I both know that this is a ridiculous claim.

Please do us all a favor and cease from these sales tactics. They insult your customers intelligence. Tell your salesmen to cut back on the hair gel, the cigarettes, and the lame banter...and simply tell me how much the car costs.

Thank you for your time.

Dave